Dear Concerned Parent,
When it comes to her spending habits, this is a
common issue for young adults who are new to earning their own money. It’s
tempting to live in the moment, especially when there are no immediate
financial pressures. If you can, share your own experiences with saving and
spending from when you were her age. Personal stories can make these lessons
feel more relatable and less like a lecture. You could even offer to help her
set financial goals, like saving for a vacation or building an emergency fund.
Sometimes, framing saving as a way to achieve something exciting rather than as
a restriction can make it more appealing.
However, it’s equally important to acknowledge that
she might not be ready to listen right now. She’s at an age where she wants to
assert her independence, and that often includes making mistakes and learning
from them. As hard as it may be, sometimes the best thing you can do is give
her space while letting her know you’re there for her if she needs guidance.
One thing you can control is setting healthy boundaries, especially if her lifestyle starts affecting your own peace of mind or financial support. For example, if you’ve been helping her financially, this might be a good time to encourage her to take full responsibility for her expenses. This can be a way of gently nudging her toward financial accountability without being confrontational.
Finally, trust that the values you’ve instilled in
her over the years haven’t disappeared. They’re still a part of her, even if
they’re not immediately visible. Many young people go through phases of
rebellion or indulgence before finding their footing. With your patience, love,
and support, she’s more likely to come around in her own time.
Take a deep breath, and remember—you’re doing your
best, and so is she, even if it doesn’t look that way right now.
Warmly,
Your Agony Aunt ❤️